I opened my eyes feeling clear and infinitely better. And lo and behold, after justįive minutes, a sweet, loving sensation swelled, and receded and swelled again. Some cockamamie version of a mantra they shared. I sat down and tried to soothe the nameless ache in my soul by chanting Picture of a guru on a chair, seemed calm and happy. The day I tallied the pills, I thought about one last resource I could try to make myself feel better before taking such drastic measures.Ī year before, a guy who radiated a stunning stillness took Moving to LA after college to make a go of the relationship with the writer turned out to be a disaster. I wanted to permanently center myself in bliss and equanimity so that I never again stared at a handful of pills wondering if there were enough to ensure that I never woke up. The choice to live in an ashram was more than an attempt to cultivate a discipline. Even though we lived in austerity, we did so The renovated parts of theĪshram were nicely done. Talks for worldwide distribution was clean and modern, with newly carpetedįloors and the faint smell of nag champa incense. The office where Vera edited video footage of the guru’s “Come over to the video department tomorrow night and we’ll Then Vera asked me about what was probably my ex’s show, andĪ deep serenity was replaced with a swirling mix of pride, jealousy and The bird, looking like a T-RexĪnd pelican combo, stared at us before taking off. At the edge of the ashram grounds we spottedĪ huge grey-blue bird perched on a branch spanning the banks of a stream. We had been silent on the long stretchīack towards the ashram, all talked out, bellies distended, bewitched by theĬacophony of cicadas and crickets. Outing ourselves, having walked several miles of country road, by modest cottagesĪnd colonies of bungalows, to the nearest restaurant: an Italian cafe with Vera and I were just returning from a little questionable Everyone at the ashram occasionally left to go to the mall or see a movie, but watching TV on ashram grounds, in an environment in which we abstained from meat, alcohol, entertainment and sex, seemed sacrosanct. “You sneak! TV?!” I’d lived in the ashram without news or a TV for 14 months.Īt a recent trip to the mall I’d discovered a new Madonna album had been released and I’d had no idea. “Sometimes I watch when I’m working alone at “Well…errrr…” Vera reflected for a moment to see if it was “Wait…How do you even know what’s on TV?” But first I had to deal with the culture shock. I felt the stirring of a tsunami starting to crest inside “Because there’s this new show called Friends. Him, even though there was no ring or clear sense of what we were actually Who worked in the ashram’s video department. Is a TV writer working on a new show about people in their 20s?” asked Vera, “Didn’t you say your ex-boyfriend, or ex-fiancé or whatever, Side of the Catskills from where I live now. When I was twenty-four, I lived in an ashram on the other Valley sunset took shape outside the supermarket window, and tried to focus on I turned my attention to the grapes while a classic Hudson I was twenty-something and living a totally different life than the glamorous group of friends in the show, with their huge Greenwich Village apartments and ample time to hang out in Central Perk. The melon wasn’t ripe enough for my upcoming fiftieth birthday celebration - a weekend away with dear friends - but the memory of watching Friends for the first time was as fragrant as ever. We’re celebrating the 25 th anniversary of Friends! Celebrate your favorite 90s TV show with us by sending in your favorite scenes and characters! In my stomach grew to the size of the melon I was sniffing. Photograph by Philipp Cordts One woman muses about life on her own path to enlightenment - from an ashram to the iconic 90s TV show FriendsĪ radio ad blared over the supermarket speakers, and a pit
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